“Honestly, if you ever become an actor, don’t ever do a slasher flick.”
Amanda Cartwright-The Final Girls
I’ve learned over the years that even the worst slasher film can hold my attention. I’ve watched the worst of the worst. I can officially say I’ve met my match. Final Exam isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it might be the most boring.
The premise is relatively simple. It’s the last week of college, and a few students remain on campus because there’s one final left for the semester. The remaining group is eclectic and focused on more than just studying. There is a group of jock frat boys who are trying to steal the test so they can cheat. A few nerds are studying hard. A couple falling in and out of love by the second. Think Revenge of the Nerds meets Friday the 13th.
The issue is that none of these characters are particularly interesting, and the acting is horrendous. The stereotypes and tropes are laid on super thick. It feels at times like it’s a parity. If it is, then it’s doing its job too well.
Writer and director Jimmy Huston has a few excellent writing credits in his filmography. Those films are all comedies, which makes me lean into the parity point even more. The problem is there aren’t enough laughs to warrant this take. The character Radish, played by Joel S. Rice, is fun and an inspiration for Randy in the Scream films but isn’t given anything of consequence to do. The killer stalks indiscriminately and doesn’t wear a mask, but Huston does everything he can not to show his face.
My biggest problem with the film is that it’s boring. Sure, there are some interesting aspects. The score is excellent. The few murders that happen are entertaining. But the film takes almost an hour to get to this point. The total runtime is less than 90 minutes.
Final Exam has all the ingredients needed to make a fun slasher film. Unfortunately, they’re all rotten. This film is boring, contrived, and has some of the worst acting ever put to screen. After the movie’s first scene, we have to wait 45 minutes for another kill. Once the killing started, I hoped he might jump out of the screen and gouge my eyes out.
Rating: 2/10
