This year I’m doing HalloweenFest a little differently. I have preselected 31 films that I’ll watch each day. I’m reviewing each movie on my Instagram and TikTok. After ten days, I’ll take those ten films and rank them. I’m using the Letterbox’d app to shuffle the movie to take my ability to choose away. This year’s films will be new releases, films I’ve never seen, or films I haven’t seen in over 20 years. After the first ten days, here are my rankings!
Read more: HalloweenFest 2022 Week 1 Rankings
10. A Return to Salem’s Lot
The original Salem’s Lot T.V. series was a childhood favorite. I remember being so frightened as a child I’d hide my eyes under a blanket and take deep breaths to collect courage. Unfortunately, the film sequel, directed by Larry Cohen, is a mess. Michael Moriarty stars as Joe Weber, an anthropologist chosen by a sect of vampires to write their “Bible.” This premise sounds exciting, but the resulting film is not. The acting is atrocious, and the direction is worse. I don’t believe the script is bad, but the execution of it might be one of the worst I’ve seen. Creature design ranges from good to goofy, and the editing is nonsensical.
Rating: 4/10
9. Prom Night
Jamie Lee Curtis deserved better. Prom Night is a cult classic but for all the wrong reasons. There is a famous dance scene that is long and ridiculous. The killer isn’t menacing and keeps getting beaten up. The biggest issue with this movie is that it takes an hour to get started. We have an over-long setup with children and another 40 minutes before we see any kills. I did find the kills fun. Curtis does her best scream queen acting here, but the twist ending was a flop. The ending was predictable, and the payoff was anticlimactic. I will also say Scream owes a lot to this film. Wes Craven watched this and did it better.
Rating: 5/10
8. C.H.U.D.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers would have been a mouthful but an all-time great title. This movie frustrated me because the idea and the talent are all here. What wasn’t here? A script, an editor, and a competent director. Some scenes feel like they are missing key moments of dialogue, and other scenes draw out to the point of boredom. The creature’s design is unique but is mystifyingly absent from most of the film. I understand maybe the budget wasn’t available, but why make a monster that is impossible to execute? C.H.U.D is a franchise that could be rebooted and be successful in the right hands.
Rating: 5/10
7. City of the Living Dead
I’m a massive fan of the zombie genre. I’m also a fan of Italian horror films. Director Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2, a sequel to George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, was also an enjoyable film. So City of the Living Dead felt like a good choice. The film didn’t live up to my expectations. Fulci’s direction is fine. He utilized quick cuts and some great makeup. The gore in this film is on par with anything you’ve ever seen. What didn’t work for me was the script. This film is all over the place. Its supernatural, slasher, and zombie genres all rolled into one. The acting isn’t great, either. The overacting is almost overbearing. The intense screaming and quick cuts eventually become practically comedic.
Rating: 5.5/10
6. Kristy
Haley Bennett has become a star and a well-respected actress in recent years. That talent is on full display in Kristy, but even her ability can’t save the film. Kristy could have been a unique twisted horror film similar to The Strangers, Scream, or You’re Next. But what director Olly Blackburn delivered was an uneven, simplistic, overly plotted, and lifeless film. Bennett’s character is one of a few people left on campus during Thanksgiving weekend when a murderous group suddenly chooses her as their new victim. What does work is Bennett’s physical acting. What doesn’t work is the contrived conspiracy tacked on to the film for no reason. I’ll preach this until Hollywood listens: AUDIENCES DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHY KILLERS KILL! What makes a horror film scary is not knowing why psychopaths choose to kill.
Rating: 5.5/10
5. Hellraiser
I have no real affinity for the Hellraiser franchise. I always thought the original film was overrated and a tad silly. I never thought it was scary, but I did understand the kinky and sexy aspect Clive Barker was trying to achieve. Unfortunately, this Hellraiser is neither scary nor sexy. The creators have chosen the path of addiction instead of BDSM. The pleasure here is relayed by drug usage. Drugs numb pain, which in my opinion, doesn’t make any sense. The film’s lead characters, Odessa A’zion and Drew Starkey, carry this film. Jamie Clayton’s Pinhead is serviceable, but the lore is wholly abandoned. The cenobites aren’t scary, even though the makeup and design are decent.
Rating: 6/10
4. The New Kids
With Friday the 13th in the bag, director Sean S. Cunningham chose another horror film written by Jake and Maggie’s dad Stephen Gyllenhaal. Cunningham’s direction, at times, seems perfect. But there are these strange scenes that feel like they are ripped from an 80’s playbook. The film has multiple training montages and a score that can only be described as Full House-Esq. This makes sense because one of the film’s leads is Lori Laughlin. It’s a strange combination for a movie with brutal villains and graphic kills. The villains are led by James Spader, who is brilliant here. Spader’s Eddie is a fragile narcissist that won’t take no for an answer. The final act is, at times, silly but is also super fun.
Rating: 6/10
3. The Burning
I’ve heard some say this is a Friday the 13th Part II ripoff, and I couldn’t disagree more. The only fundamental similarities are that it takes place at a summer camp, and there’s a slasher. The ending has problems, and there’s some creepy sexploitation in this film. Our main character is caught spying on a girl showering and is not only shown sympathy but given a pat on the back. This shouldn’t be surprising because the scriptwriter is Harvey Weinstein. Yes, that scumbag. If you can get past all that, the movie is fun. The movie has many familiar faces like Jason Alexander, Holly Hunter, and Brian Backer. The gore and effects are terrific. The tension is masterful, and the acting is serviceable. Ultimately, this movie is a solid slasher.
Rating: 7/10
2. The Midnight Hour
Shari Belafonte-Harper, LeVar Burton, Peter DeLuise, Jonelle Allen, and Dedee Pfeiffer top an all-star cast in a made-for-TV Halloween special that is a must-watch. I can’t believe how well put-together this movie is. A group of teenagers accidentally bring a curse on the town. The curse unleashes every monster you can imagine. The Midnight Hour is billed as a family-friendly film, but this movie is surprisingly dark and gory. The humor is stiff, and the ending is predictable. I loved the pacing of this film and the performances. What sold me was the needle drops. Creedence Clearwater Revival, Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs, Three Dog Night, and The Smiths are all featured in the perfect spots!
Rating: 7/10
- Popcorn
Popcorn has been on my watchlist for a long time. I kept putting it off specifically for Halloween. I’m glad I did. Popcorn is a love letter to the B movie. A group of college students rent out a theater to show multiple 50’s style B horror movies. The films include Smell-O-Vision and a giant mechanical mosquito flying over the crowd. The problem is there’s a serial killer in the building, and he’s using their props against them. There are multiple levels of meta-commentary about horror films that I enjoy. I didn’t love the “twist,” but I enjoyed how the finale played out. The acting isn’t great, and if I have one major complaint, there is a rather ludicrous musical number toward the end. Despite all this, the movie is charming and creative. A must-watch for any horror lover.
Rating: 7.5/10
